Let’s take a look at some examples:

·    Let’s say that your parents were very busy and distracted when you were growing up. Did this mean that you didn’t get the attention you wanted from them? If they were very busy, you may have felt that you didn’t matter, that you weren’t worthy of their time. They probably didn’t think this themselves, but if you as a child interpreted their behavior this way and formed the belief that you were not worth their time and attention, this could have had a negative impact on your self-esteem even as an adult.

·    If you only received attention for “bad” things you did, such as getting a bad grade, having a messy room, and so on, this no doubt had an impact on you. Perhaps you internalized what they said about you. If they didn’t balance the criticism with positive praise, it’s very likely that you began to see yourself in a negative way.

·    If other kids picked on you in school because you were different in some way, this had to be difficult. Perhaps you began to believe some of the things they said about you, even if they weren’t true.

There are many other examples, to be sure, but one of the most common things (and a common thread throughout discussion about low self-esteem) is that when negative things were said to you or about you, you began to internalize them and eventually to believe in them.

Again, it’s important to stress that most of the time, this was not done on purpose to make you feel bad. This isn’t about blaming people, because it doesn’t matter what others did or said to you in the past. What is important is that you change the impact this had, now.

The assignment today is to simply give some thought to your past experiences and write down those that you think had an effect on your low self-esteem. If you know where the symptoms of low self esteem started, it may just help you turn it around.